Stila’s Makeup Bag With An Identity Crisis

11 11 2009

stila-makeup-case-ipodStila recently launched a new product for gals who like to bump and grind to their favorite tunes while doing their makeup!  I know what you’re thinking – but Garvey and Leah, you don’t seem like lipstick lesbians!  And we’re not, well sort of not.  This post will be full of snark, do not worry, dear readers.

We found this product somehow listed under coolest gadgets of the year on PopGadget.  And then we had a discussion…

Leah: What is this? I don’t really get it. Is it a makeup box that plays music? A music player that holds makeup? I think it has an identity crisis.

Garvey: Kind of like a drag queen who wants the fake ta-tas, but doesn’t want to shave the beard.

Leah: Yeah totally. But more importantly, I don’t like the assumption that women who are into music…

1) Wear a full suite of makeup. This thing comes with foundation, three eye shadows, lip glaze (glaze?!), brush, other colors and an instructional DVD of how to put all this stuff on. Who needs all of that?

2) Need a ready-made suite of makeup, i.e. they can’t buy the items they actually need and that work for them… they need a kit. It’s so 80’s era “pretty girl makeup kit”, with all of the stuff in it because (gasp!) women can’t possibly know what looks good on them.

Garvey: I concur.  Not to mention their pre-made kits don’t really cater to ladies of color.  As in, the darkest available color was compared to the skin tone of J-Ho.  My major issues are with the assh0le who wrote the article.  Like this line: “you can plug in your MP3 player and enjoy your favorite “I feel pretty” tunes through the built-in speakers while reciting your daily affirmations.” What’s with the assumption that all women are SO lacking in self confidence that they,
1) need daily affirmations, and
2) need “I feel pretty” tunes?  Like, what are “I feel pretty tunes” anyway?
I have music that makes me want to dance, is good for when I feel sad or when I want to work out or when I want to make out, but… I just like myself anyway so why and how would music make me “feel pretty”?

Leah: I know! What about your “I’m angsty and want to say ‘f*ck the world'” tunes? Or your “I had a bad day at work and I just want to watch TV” tunes? Or your “I’m all hopped up on caffeine because I had too much coffee” tunes? What would you wear for those? Soft pinks and lip glaze?

Garvey: And what about women who are comfortable enough to not have to worry about “i feel pretty” days because they just feel good every day?  And what if they are able to feel pretty without makeup?

Leah: Right. Makeup executives hate those girls. They don’t want to acknowledge that they exist. Maybe they tune them out by listening to their “I feel pretty” tunes. And one more thing while we’re ranting…  pretty according to whom?  Like, would Tegan and Sara listeners want this box?  Or T&S themselves since they rarely wear makeup, but are beautiful women?

Garvey: Ha ha, I doubt it.  But I think they’d like the box.

Leah: Ha. You said box.

Posted by Garvey and Leah together, holding hands.





Leah and Garvey’s Lilith Fair Wish List

2 11 2009

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With the return of Lilith Fair looming on the horizon, Leah and I have put together our wish list of bands that we’d like to see on the tour.  Leah requested that I let you all know that her original wish list was about 6 times as long as it is now, but I sat on her and gave her noogies until she agreed to shorten it.  I just can’t edit that much.  I don’t have the attention span.  Since we’re huge lesbians, we’ve done this in softball terms for you.  Now let’s get out there and have a clean game!

First to bat, Leah’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Indigo Girls – Duh. No explanation necessary.

Imogen Heap – Have you ever seen her in concert? She’s amazing. She literally sound-engineers herself while on-stage, creating, looping, mixing and combining distinct sounds to weave together her songs. It’s really incredible to watch.

Missy Higgins – Cute lesbian who plays guitar and piano while simultaneously telling breakup stories in an Australian accent? Yes, please.

Bonnie Raitt – Legendary songwriter and singer who can still belt it out with more soul than just about anyone. She manages to look better with age, a phenomenon I like to call Diane Lane Syndrome.

Edie Carey – Such a beautiful voice and every time I’ve seen her perform, her between-song banter has had the audience in stitches. Voted Most Likely to be Famous in my one-person Most Likely To Be Famous Poll 2008.

Rose Cousins – Incredible songwriting and soulful lyrics. She’s big in Canada. It isn’t just a t-shirt, it’s the real thing.

Garvey’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Tegan and Sara – Duh.  They are two of the hottest musicians out there right now so I don’t see why Lilith Fair wouldn’t do everything in their power to get T&S on the bill.  Not to mention that they’re also Lilith Fair alum.  And I’d like to have a litter of finger babies with either of them.

Gossip – Beth Ditto is THE diva of the Indie/Punk scene.  She owns the stage, has an amazing voice, and she and her music are totally inspirational for us gay gals and boys.  As a side note, I’ll probably start a Beth Ditto religion sometime soon.  The Church of Dittology.  I wonder if Tom Cruise will join… we will be gay friendly, after all.

Brandi Carlile – Brandi’s music is already in the vein of Lilith Fair type music.  She’s friends with, and often tours with the Indigo Girls.  She’s a big mo.  Her latest album is one of the best of 2009… need I go on?

Bat For Lashes – Bat For Lashes appeals to my most emotional, moody, stereotypically girly side.  So… since this is an all chick extravaganza, BFL clearly belongs.

Daphne Willis – Daphne is my newest local fave and also my main pick for taking over the world in 2010.

*Leah already put Edie Carey and Rose Cousins in the starting lineup.  I’d like to put them on stage together.  They’ve played together quite a bit and, while they’re both amazing solo artists, I like their chemistry onstage and their voices sound beautiful together.

Leah’s Bench Warming List:

Fergie – Went from Isn’t That The Girl From The Black-Eyed Peas? to Doesn’t She Have A Few Songs And Isn’t She Married To Josh Duhamel? No voice, and a product of the Music Marketing Machine.

Jessica – Again, Music Marketing Machine. Can she play an instrument?

Miley – I should just shorten Music Marketing Machine to M3. So, M3 and her whole existence is designed to 1) build the Hannah Montana brand and 2) fulfill her father’s dreams of success despite a lackluster mullet-topped career.

Ashlee – See Jessica.

**Garvey agrees with Leah’s list of pine riders and would like to add Katy Perry for having the most annoying song ever written about something I love to do (kiss girls).  Garvey would also like to point out that Leah clearly just hates mullets.





New News and New Songs From Tegan and Sara

28 09 2009

According to their website, Tegan and Sara’s newest album, Sainthood, is set to go on pre-sale today (album release 10/27).  With the album pre-sale, fans can also purchase three books chronicling the lives of the Indie rock darlings over a good portion of their tour in support of The Con and while they worked on Sainthood.  The books, titled On, In, and At, will also feature writing from openers such as Dallas Green, Northern State and An Horse, and photographs from Lindsey Byrnes and Ryan Russell.

The band premiered six songs from Sainthood last week at the Rifflandia Festival.  It sounds like Sainthood is set to be their best album yet!

Alligator

The Ocean

On Directing

The Cure

Red Belt

Hell

I do believe you can find the youtuber who posted these vids at http://twitter.com/wojo4hitz. Thank her for her awesome videography.

Posted by Garvey





NOFX – Coaster

8 05 2009

coaster_cover

NOFX’s latest album, Coaster, may have flown under the radar had it not been for Fat Mike pissing off a load of over reactive and overprotective Tegan and Sara fans with his song, Creeping Out Sara.  In typical NOFX fashion, Fat Mike sings about asking one of the sisters Quin (he wasn’t sure which) if they’ve ever ganged up on a girl or had a threesome, along with a few other gross-out lines.  I mean… that’s just NOFX, kids.  They are sarcastic, inappropriate, and a little bit gross.  They are not, however, homophobic (as people have been saying).  In fact, the boys of NOFX are just the opposite – they fully back gay rights and don’t hide that fact.  Anyway, I honestly probably would have missed this record release if it weren’t for those obnoxious fans giving it some press, so thank you, annoying fans, for bringing this record to my attention.  I love it.  It’s no Punk In Drublic (my gold standard to which I compare all NOFX albums), but Coaster is vintage NOFX.  Punk rawk full of self deprecation, and outspoken views of the world around them.  This will definitely be one of my top summer driving-in-the-car-windows-down-rocking-out albums this year.

Posted by Garvey





Lolla 2009 eh and oh!!!

21 04 2009

I waited with bated morning breath today for the Lolla lineup. The headliners made me want to hit snooze. Then I saw the middle tier bands and I started to giggle a little. Snoop dogg!!! As I scrolled down a little more on the list I started to bop my head more in appreciation.

Lolla here are my beefs… Repeat squared and the heavy 90’s? A large percentage of these acts have played and even headlined in the past four years. And when are you going to give Tegan and Sara a chance to redeem themselves from the heat stroke incident???

These are the rhetorical fodder for thought questions in my head. Are there too many festivals to have  original lineups year after year? Does Lolla have a theme; like are they more rock or 90s? Is three days too long? Is Tool relevant? How does the Pitchfork Festival, 7-17- 7-19, add or take away from Lolla.?

Lolla here are my kudos: new electronica attempts (what is ‘perry’s?), middle tier and “early in the day” acts are solid.

Who will I try and see? Headliners: Beasties and maybe Depeche Mode. Middle of the day is going to be a zig zag around Buckingham Fountain to catch some hopefully great live acts; Lykke Li!! Animal Collective!! Friendly fires!!!! Santogold! Bat for lashes, crystal castles, bon iver!! TV on the radio, Of montreal and Gomez. Spinning at Perry’s KASKADE and DEADMAU5. woo hoo.

Where are they: Doves, Green Day, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Tinted Windows, Lady Gaga?

Initial assessment of the line up was a B-. I am giving it a solid B now. I wish Garvey and I could do a mixtape showdown.

More to follow. Hit us up with thoughts, frustrations, excitement!!! Coopalooza, a festival in my mind, will be announced this weekend.

This is the first year I have not gotten a three day pass. I am not sure yet when the single day tickets will go on sale, but I will keep earbudz in the loop. Perhaps I am spoiled. We are lucky to have this festival in Chicago!!!

 

posted by Cooper





News! News! News!

22 01 2009

Just some random music news for you all on this fine Thursday morning…

SXSW has announced the first portion of their 2009 line-up. It includes Chicago bands Anathallo, Pugs Atomz, Andrew Bird, Disappears, The Enright House, Jon Langford And The Pine Valley Cosmonauts, Mahjongg, Ohtis (Bloomington, IL), Joe Pug, Vince P, Rabid Rabbit, Red Red Meat, Anni Rossi, and Scotland Yard Gospel Choir. You can see the full band list here.

Tegan and Sara have announced that they will soon head back into the recording studio with Chris Walla to produce their 6th full length album. The album is set to drop in September, 2009.

The Silversun Pickups will release their sophomore album (3 years coming), Swoon, on April 14, 2009.

An Iron Maiden movie is coming out documenting the band’s 2008 tour. Is that news? I’m not sure so I’m including it.

Kaki King just finished two collaboration sessions with none other than producing giant, Timbaland. No word yet as to when the sure-to-be-hits will be released, but King is currently about to release another EP, The Mexican Teenagers EP.

Lady Sovereign is finally back from her music strike and about to drop her sophomore debut, Jigsaw, on April 7, 2009.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are also slotted to drop a new album soon (release date yet to be announced) called, It’s Blitz.

One of earbudz’s favorite local bands, Veipa Cray, will be playing Reggies Music Joint on Feb. 19, and we suggest you all go and check them out!

In this bud’s opinion, springtime is the best time for live music. And there are A LOT of great bands that are touring this spring, so make sure you check out the Upcoming Shows page to see when your faves will be hitting Chicago!

Posted by Garvey





Speaking Of Alkaline Trio And Favorite Bands…

24 12 2008

As I was just thinking about Alkaline Trio being one of my favorite bands, it reminded me of a performance that they did with a member of one of my other favorite bands, Tegan and Sara.  In case you somehow missed it, here is Alkaline Trio with Tegan Quin performing her song, Wake Up Exhausted.  It’s pretty damn good. Damn good, I say.

Posted by Garvey