Stila’s Makeup Bag With An Identity Crisis

11 11 2009

stila-makeup-case-ipodStila recently launched a new product for gals who like to bump and grind to their favorite tunes while doing their makeup!  I know what you’re thinking – but Garvey and Leah, you don’t seem like lipstick lesbians!  And we’re not, well sort of not.  This post will be full of snark, do not worry, dear readers.

We found this product somehow listed under coolest gadgets of the year on PopGadget.  And then we had a discussion…

Leah: What is this? I don’t really get it. Is it a makeup box that plays music? A music player that holds makeup? I think it has an identity crisis.

Garvey: Kind of like a drag queen who wants the fake ta-tas, but doesn’t want to shave the beard.

Leah: Yeah totally. But more importantly, I don’t like the assumption that women who are into music…

1) Wear a full suite of makeup. This thing comes with foundation, three eye shadows, lip glaze (glaze?!), brush, other colors and an instructional DVD of how to put all this stuff on. Who needs all of that?

2) Need a ready-made suite of makeup, i.e. they can’t buy the items they actually need and that work for them… they need a kit. It’s so 80’s era “pretty girl makeup kit”, with all of the stuff in it because (gasp!) women can’t possibly know what looks good on them.

Garvey: I concur.  Not to mention their pre-made kits don’t really cater to ladies of color.  As in, the darkest available color was compared to the skin tone of J-Ho.  My major issues are with the assh0le who wrote the article.  Like this line: “you can plug in your MP3 player and enjoy your favorite “I feel pretty” tunes through the built-in speakers while reciting your daily affirmations.” What’s with the assumption that all women are SO lacking in self confidence that they,
1) need daily affirmations, and
2) need “I feel pretty” tunes?  Like, what are “I feel pretty tunes” anyway?
I have music that makes me want to dance, is good for when I feel sad or when I want to work out or when I want to make out, but… I just like myself anyway so why and how would music make me “feel pretty”?

Leah: I know! What about your “I’m angsty and want to say ‘f*ck the world'” tunes? Or your “I had a bad day at work and I just want to watch TV” tunes? Or your “I’m all hopped up on caffeine because I had too much coffee” tunes? What would you wear for those? Soft pinks and lip glaze?

Garvey: And what about women who are comfortable enough to not have to worry about “i feel pretty” days because they just feel good every day?  And what if they are able to feel pretty without makeup?

Leah: Right. Makeup executives hate those girls. They don’t want to acknowledge that they exist. Maybe they tune them out by listening to their “I feel pretty” tunes. And one more thing while we’re ranting…  pretty according to whom?  Like, would Tegan and Sara listeners want this box?  Or T&S themselves since they rarely wear makeup, but are beautiful women?

Garvey: Ha ha, I doubt it.  But I think they’d like the box.

Leah: Ha. You said box.

Posted by Garvey and Leah together, holding hands.





Leah and Garvey’s Lilith Fair Wish List

2 11 2009

-2
With the return of Lilith Fair looming on the horizon, Leah and I have put together our wish list of bands that we’d like to see on the tour.  Leah requested that I let you all know that her original wish list was about 6 times as long as it is now, but I sat on her and gave her noogies until she agreed to shorten it.  I just can’t edit that much.  I don’t have the attention span.  Since we’re huge lesbians, we’ve done this in softball terms for you.  Now let’s get out there and have a clean game!

First to bat, Leah’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Indigo Girls – Duh. No explanation necessary.

Imogen Heap – Have you ever seen her in concert? She’s amazing. She literally sound-engineers herself while on-stage, creating, looping, mixing and combining distinct sounds to weave together her songs. It’s really incredible to watch.

Missy Higgins – Cute lesbian who plays guitar and piano while simultaneously telling breakup stories in an Australian accent? Yes, please.

Bonnie Raitt – Legendary songwriter and singer who can still belt it out with more soul than just about anyone. She manages to look better with age, a phenomenon I like to call Diane Lane Syndrome.

Edie Carey – Such a beautiful voice and every time I’ve seen her perform, her between-song banter has had the audience in stitches. Voted Most Likely to be Famous in my one-person Most Likely To Be Famous Poll 2008.

Rose Cousins – Incredible songwriting and soulful lyrics. She’s big in Canada. It isn’t just a t-shirt, it’s the real thing.

Garvey’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Tegan and Sara – Duh.  They are two of the hottest musicians out there right now so I don’t see why Lilith Fair wouldn’t do everything in their power to get T&S on the bill.  Not to mention that they’re also Lilith Fair alum.  And I’d like to have a litter of finger babies with either of them.

Gossip – Beth Ditto is THE diva of the Indie/Punk scene.  She owns the stage, has an amazing voice, and she and her music are totally inspirational for us gay gals and boys.  As a side note, I’ll probably start a Beth Ditto religion sometime soon.  The Church of Dittology.  I wonder if Tom Cruise will join… we will be gay friendly, after all.

Brandi Carlile – Brandi’s music is already in the vein of Lilith Fair type music.  She’s friends with, and often tours with the Indigo Girls.  She’s a big mo.  Her latest album is one of the best of 2009… need I go on?

Bat For Lashes – Bat For Lashes appeals to my most emotional, moody, stereotypically girly side.  So… since this is an all chick extravaganza, BFL clearly belongs.

Daphne Willis – Daphne is my newest local fave and also my main pick for taking over the world in 2010.

*Leah already put Edie Carey and Rose Cousins in the starting lineup.  I’d like to put them on stage together.  They’ve played together quite a bit and, while they’re both amazing solo artists, I like their chemistry onstage and their voices sound beautiful together.

Leah’s Bench Warming List:

Fergie – Went from Isn’t That The Girl From The Black-Eyed Peas? to Doesn’t She Have A Few Songs And Isn’t She Married To Josh Duhamel? No voice, and a product of the Music Marketing Machine.

Jessica – Again, Music Marketing Machine. Can she play an instrument?

Miley – I should just shorten Music Marketing Machine to M3. So, M3 and her whole existence is designed to 1) build the Hannah Montana brand and 2) fulfill her father’s dreams of success despite a lackluster mullet-topped career.

Ashlee – See Jessica.

**Garvey agrees with Leah’s list of pine riders and would like to add Katy Perry for having the most annoying song ever written about something I love to do (kiss girls).  Garvey would also like to point out that Leah clearly just hates mullets.





For The Record

25 09 2009

middle finger kidJust as an FYI since they’re using my email rather than the comments section, I am getting TOTALLY RAILED by my friends for having the audacity to bash the great Ani DiFranco.  I mean, I didn’t even really bash her.  I could have delved much deeper, but I held back specifically for my friends.  It’s okay, they are entitled to their opinions and I do respect their opinions.  This does, however, prove my prior post about how I have completely different taste than most of my friends which was being disputed yesterday by my better half.  That, btw, has earned me no sex for a good… I don’t know how long.

What I have learned from this – some of my friends actually DO read my blog (sometimes).  My better half actually does read my blog (occasionally).  Aaaaaand it’s a good idea to never ever blog about your better half.  Ever.  Especially when you have a better half who is so amazing, intelligent, and utterly beautiful.

LOVE, GARVEY





How Important Is Musical Taste?

22 09 2009

I’ve been thinking a lot this week about my personal taste in music and how it is so completely different from that of my better half and most of my friends. The catalyst to my brooding is that over the next three nights, I’ll be attending three shows, one of which I’m into. Tomorrow I’m going to see Ani DiFranco at The Vic, Thursday is Joshua Radin at House of Blues, and Friday is Brandi Carlile at House of Blues (I know I should just set up a tent at HOB). I love Brandi. How can you not? The chick has pipes! Radin I’m not too familiar with, but his style of music falls into that which bores me and makes me fall asleep. For that show, however, I’m at least getting some good time in with a good friend who I haven’t had lots of time with lately. Ani… now this is the show that mainly got me thinking. I just do not like   Ani DiFranco’s music. It’s sooo….. I don’t even know. It all sounds the same to me. And that same-sound is a sound that completely grates on my ears and nerves. I know what you’re thinking – Garvey, you’re going to get your gay card revoked. Don’t worry, my friends have had my name on the revocation list for years and it has yet to happen. Apparently I’m so gay that I can continue my dislike for such musicians as Ani, Ferrick and the Indigo Girls (gasp!) and still retain my black platinum gay card.

So here I sit, listening to Matt and Kim, wondering how it ended up that the majority of my friends are into the same kind of music and I’m the indie/punk/rock cheese that stands alone (clearly a stinky cheese). One of my friends enjoys periodically calling me a music snob, but I don’t think that’s true. And to be honest, she’s a huge jag anyway (you’re welcome :/ ). If people come to me with new music that they want me to check out, I will give it the time of day and give it a true listen. It’s just that if it comes from most of my friends or my better half, it tends to bore me.

I like listening to music with friends and I like talking about it and going to shows. It is important for me to have people in my life with whom I share this particular interest. I grew up in a family that was really into music – particularly classic rock and Italian opera. I used to sit in our basement by myself and listen to my parents’ kick ass record collection including the likes of Elton John, The Who, and The Doors. The first tape I ever owned was a Beatles 20 best tape and I know that Luciano Pavarotti is the best tenor that has ever and will ever live. My mom used to refuse to give into us when we wanted whatever fad was popular at school (i.e. hypercolor tee shirts), but when I wanted Pearl Jam’s Ten the day it came out, she drove my little ass over to the local record store, bought it for me, and then left me alone to enjoy it for the rest of the night. I don’t necessarily expect that level of appreciation for my musical loves, but it would have been nice if, when I was trying to play the new Gossip album for my better half and friend the other day, they had made it through more than one song before asking me to turn it off so we could talk.

So, after much babbling, my point is that I wish my better half and friends liked some of the same music that I like. Or at least gave it half a chance. I don’t know, what do you think? Is this something that’s important to you? Or is it akin to caring about what your friends’ hair looks like? Actually, I also prefer my friends have good hair as well. 🙂 Maybe I’m just high maintenance…

I’ll try to get reviews up for all three shows. I have hopes that either DiFranco or Radin will change my mind and turn me into a fan. If not, I’m pretty good at snark.

Posted by Garvey





Classless Kanye

14 09 2009

It would be Kanye West who does something so idiotic, it makes me come hurling out of my no-blogging hermitdom.  So, by now we all know about Kanye grabbing the microphone out of Taylor Swift’s hands last night at the VMA’s, interrupting her acceptance speech, to point out that Beyonce had the best music video of the year.  Beyonce attempted to make up for it later in the evening by bringing Swift up on stage with her, and Kanye later apologized, but here’s my thing – where the hell does Kanye West get off thinking he can pull that shit in the first place?  Add this to the bottom of the long list of ridiculous events proving that celebrities feel that no rules apply to them (including those of social norms and mores, i.e. simple politeness).  Listen kids, just because you’re able to sing, act, or play a sport well does not entitle you to free reign over all things idiotic and jackassy.  Yes, I just made up that word.

I just had to throw that out there.  In the end, I really think that this was a simple act of Kanye acting out over jealousy.  Jealousy that Taylor Swift is wayyyy more gangsta than he can ever hope to be.

p.s. – I chose this particular version of the video because it makes me laugh REALLY hard when the youtube poster sticks her own head in there, bouncing along to the beat.

Posted by Garvey





OMG! BMG is calling it quits.

16 03 2009

7-1-43

 

BMG will be ceasing operations 6-30-2009. No more 12 CDs for the price of one. Don’t bother doing the math; it was never that simple. Columbia House closed up shop last year.

I remember the temptation in college. The little catalogue was always calling my name. The main reason I never committed, was a lack of imports. I was into the 4AD label. I mean everyone needed a copy of Bad Company’s “10 from 6”, but I needed “Treasure” and “Heaven or Las Vegas” from the Cocteau Twins. I always got a little jealous when I would see the CD box full o goodness, but that usually just prompted me to head over the local record store and dive into the bins for several hours. Treasure hunting and therapy in one stop.

So, is this yet another victim of the digital revolution? I don’t think so. The recording industry needs to stop whining and figure out how to change their delivery methods. I don’t get it. The artists have taken the leap and have had gargantuan success. The so called ‘brick and mortar’ entities can still exist. Just like the auto industry and the politico machine, we need new blood and new ideas. Stop whining and start creating.

 

posted by Cooper





Welcome!

19 10 2008

Welcome one, welcome all to earbudz!  We are OFFICIALLY launched!  Please feel free to peruse the site at your leisure and comment to your little heart’s desire.  You can find some background on us under the “da budz” tab, and we have also posted some back posts for your reading pleasure.  Also, make sure you check out this week’s Mixtape Showdown for some sweet tunes and then vote for your favorite mix!

Your best friends forever, Garvey and Cooper