Stila’s Makeup Bag With An Identity Crisis

11 11 2009

stila-makeup-case-ipodStila recently launched a new product for gals who like to bump and grind to their favorite tunes while doing their makeup!  I know what you’re thinking – but Garvey and Leah, you don’t seem like lipstick lesbians!  And we’re not, well sort of not.  This post will be full of snark, do not worry, dear readers.

We found this product somehow listed under coolest gadgets of the year on PopGadget.  And then we had a discussion…

Leah: What is this? I don’t really get it. Is it a makeup box that plays music? A music player that holds makeup? I think it has an identity crisis.

Garvey: Kind of like a drag queen who wants the fake ta-tas, but doesn’t want to shave the beard.

Leah: Yeah totally. But more importantly, I don’t like the assumption that women who are into music…

1) Wear a full suite of makeup. This thing comes with foundation, three eye shadows, lip glaze (glaze?!), brush, other colors and an instructional DVD of how to put all this stuff on. Who needs all of that?

2) Need a ready-made suite of makeup, i.e. they can’t buy the items they actually need and that work for them… they need a kit. It’s so 80’s era “pretty girl makeup kit”, with all of the stuff in it because (gasp!) women can’t possibly know what looks good on them.

Garvey: I concur.  Not to mention their pre-made kits don’t really cater to ladies of color.  As in, the darkest available color was compared to the skin tone of J-Ho.  My major issues are with the assh0le who wrote the article.  Like this line: “you can plug in your MP3 player and enjoy your favorite “I feel pretty” tunes through the built-in speakers while reciting your daily affirmations.” What’s with the assumption that all women are SO lacking in self confidence that they,
1) need daily affirmations, and
2) need “I feel pretty” tunes?  Like, what are “I feel pretty tunes” anyway?
I have music that makes me want to dance, is good for when I feel sad or when I want to work out or when I want to make out, but… I just like myself anyway so why and how would music make me “feel pretty”?

Leah: I know! What about your “I’m angsty and want to say ‘f*ck the world'” tunes? Or your “I had a bad day at work and I just want to watch TV” tunes? Or your “I’m all hopped up on caffeine because I had too much coffee” tunes? What would you wear for those? Soft pinks and lip glaze?

Garvey: And what about women who are comfortable enough to not have to worry about “i feel pretty” days because they just feel good every day?  And what if they are able to feel pretty without makeup?

Leah: Right. Makeup executives hate those girls. They don’t want to acknowledge that they exist. Maybe they tune them out by listening to their “I feel pretty” tunes. And one more thing while we’re ranting…  pretty according to whom?  Like, would Tegan and Sara listeners want this box?  Or T&S themselves since they rarely wear makeup, but are beautiful women?

Garvey: Ha ha, I doubt it.  But I think they’d like the box.

Leah: Ha. You said box.

Posted by Garvey and Leah together, holding hands.

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