Adam Lambert – For Your Entertainment

30 11 2009

One night, a long, long time ago, in a dirty hotel room full of empty booze bottles and used condoms, David Bowie, Jon Bon Jovi, and Cher had a threesome – or ménage à trois if you prefer- and pooped out Adam Lambert.

I’ll leave it up to you as to whether or not that’s a good thing. I’ve listened to For Your Entertainment multiple times now, and I’m quite honestly just feeling ambivalent about the whole thing. I am a poor soul who is forced by people in my life to watch American Idol every year. Last season, Lambert was the only thing that got me through that show. He was my sparkly, glittery, makeup-y shining star. And I have to say that I’m disappointed. This whole album is just so, “meh”, and no matter how much I listen to it, I can’t get a feeling of who Adam Lambert is, or what his music’s about. The album is disorganized and doesn’t seem to flow.  It feels like he’s just a tool for the music of multiple other people. A player for a mixtape type of thing. There are a few bright moments in the album, songs that I like to classify as “gay anthem songs” – songs that I expect to be remixed and blaring when I go out to the gay clubs. These include Fever, Sleepwalker, and If I Had You.  I’ll shake my bootie along to these songs when I’m out on Saturday night, but in my head I’ll be thinking about how disappointed I am.

Adam, for your next record, stick to the anthems, buddy!

Posted by Garvey





A Lunchtime Musical

17 11 2009

Those crazy kids at ImprovEverywhere are at it again, this time with “I Love Lunch! The Musical”. Check it out for your listening (and lunchtime) pleasure. Keep an eye out for the special guest, Ann Curry, who announces proudly that she’s eating… clam chowder! (Bet you thought I was going to say, curry! Well no. It’s clam chowder.)

Check out other ImprovEverywhere sketches at http://improveverywhere.com.

Posted by: Leah, who’s eating Potbelly’s for lunch





Jets Overhead Contest Winner Announced!!!

15 11 2009

JetsOverheadTeeCDThe time has come to announce the winner of the Jets Overhead shwag contest! But before that, we’d like to give a big THANK YOU to Koop over at Against The Grain who was so gracious in including our little blog in her super sweet gear giveaway.  And now, the winner of the Jets Overhead contest isssss……

CANDICE from Chicago, IL!!!!!!!!!!  Oh heyyyyy Candice!  Way to represent the hometown!  Judging by the sound of her name, Candice, I’m going to guess that this young lady is going to look wicked hot while rocking her new JO tee, dancing around her home to her new JO CD.

Thank you everyone who entered!  Don’t worry, if you didn’t win, you can still pick up the new Jets Overhead album, No Nations, on itunes!

Posted by Garvey

 





Happy Birthday Neil Young

12 11 2009

Happy birthday to one of the best singer-songwriters to ever come out of Canada.

Posted by Garvey





Stila’s Makeup Bag With An Identity Crisis

11 11 2009

stila-makeup-case-ipodStila recently launched a new product for gals who like to bump and grind to their favorite tunes while doing their makeup!  I know what you’re thinking – but Garvey and Leah, you don’t seem like lipstick lesbians!  And we’re not, well sort of not.  This post will be full of snark, do not worry, dear readers.

We found this product somehow listed under coolest gadgets of the year on PopGadget.  And then we had a discussion…

Leah: What is this? I don’t really get it. Is it a makeup box that plays music? A music player that holds makeup? I think it has an identity crisis.

Garvey: Kind of like a drag queen who wants the fake ta-tas, but doesn’t want to shave the beard.

Leah: Yeah totally. But more importantly, I don’t like the assumption that women who are into music…

1) Wear a full suite of makeup. This thing comes with foundation, three eye shadows, lip glaze (glaze?!), brush, other colors and an instructional DVD of how to put all this stuff on. Who needs all of that?

2) Need a ready-made suite of makeup, i.e. they can’t buy the items they actually need and that work for them… they need a kit. It’s so 80’s era “pretty girl makeup kit”, with all of the stuff in it because (gasp!) women can’t possibly know what looks good on them.

Garvey: I concur.  Not to mention their pre-made kits don’t really cater to ladies of color.  As in, the darkest available color was compared to the skin tone of J-Ho.  My major issues are with the assh0le who wrote the article.  Like this line: “you can plug in your MP3 player and enjoy your favorite “I feel pretty” tunes through the built-in speakers while reciting your daily affirmations.” What’s with the assumption that all women are SO lacking in self confidence that they,
1) need daily affirmations, and
2) need “I feel pretty” tunes?  Like, what are “I feel pretty tunes” anyway?
I have music that makes me want to dance, is good for when I feel sad or when I want to work out or when I want to make out, but… I just like myself anyway so why and how would music make me “feel pretty”?

Leah: I know! What about your “I’m angsty and want to say ‘f*ck the world'” tunes? Or your “I had a bad day at work and I just want to watch TV” tunes? Or your “I’m all hopped up on caffeine because I had too much coffee” tunes? What would you wear for those? Soft pinks and lip glaze?

Garvey: And what about women who are comfortable enough to not have to worry about “i feel pretty” days because they just feel good every day?  And what if they are able to feel pretty without makeup?

Leah: Right. Makeup executives hate those girls. They don’t want to acknowledge that they exist. Maybe they tune them out by listening to their “I feel pretty” tunes. And one more thing while we’re ranting…  pretty according to whom?  Like, would Tegan and Sara listeners want this box?  Or T&S themselves since they rarely wear makeup, but are beautiful women?

Garvey: Ha ha, I doubt it.  But I think they’d like the box.

Leah: Ha. You said box.

Posted by Garvey and Leah together, holding hands.





Get Yer Weezer Snuggie!

3 11 2009

Get ’em while their hot, kids!  The Weezer snuggie, only $29.99 comes with a copy of Weezer’s latest album, Raditude, and is available at Weezer’s site, www.weezer.com.

*earbudz does not endorse snuggies of any kind.

Posted by Garvey





Leah and Garvey’s Lilith Fair Wish List

2 11 2009

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With the return of Lilith Fair looming on the horizon, Leah and I have put together our wish list of bands that we’d like to see on the tour.  Leah requested that I let you all know that her original wish list was about 6 times as long as it is now, but I sat on her and gave her noogies until she agreed to shorten it.  I just can’t edit that much.  I don’t have the attention span.  Since we’re huge lesbians, we’ve done this in softball terms for you.  Now let’s get out there and have a clean game!

First to bat, Leah’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Indigo Girls – Duh. No explanation necessary.

Imogen Heap – Have you ever seen her in concert? She’s amazing. She literally sound-engineers herself while on-stage, creating, looping, mixing and combining distinct sounds to weave together her songs. It’s really incredible to watch.

Missy Higgins – Cute lesbian who plays guitar and piano while simultaneously telling breakup stories in an Australian accent? Yes, please.

Bonnie Raitt – Legendary songwriter and singer who can still belt it out with more soul than just about anyone. She manages to look better with age, a phenomenon I like to call Diane Lane Syndrome.

Edie Carey – Such a beautiful voice and every time I’ve seen her perform, her between-song banter has had the audience in stitches. Voted Most Likely to be Famous in my one-person Most Likely To Be Famous Poll 2008.

Rose Cousins – Incredible songwriting and soulful lyrics. She’s big in Canada. It isn’t just a t-shirt, it’s the real thing.

Garvey’s Lilith Fair Starting Lineup:

Tegan and Sara – Duh.  They are two of the hottest musicians out there right now so I don’t see why Lilith Fair wouldn’t do everything in their power to get T&S on the bill.  Not to mention that they’re also Lilith Fair alum.  And I’d like to have a litter of finger babies with either of them.

Gossip – Beth Ditto is THE diva of the Indie/Punk scene.  She owns the stage, has an amazing voice, and she and her music are totally inspirational for us gay gals and boys.  As a side note, I’ll probably start a Beth Ditto religion sometime soon.  The Church of Dittology.  I wonder if Tom Cruise will join… we will be gay friendly, after all.

Brandi Carlile – Brandi’s music is already in the vein of Lilith Fair type music.  She’s friends with, and often tours with the Indigo Girls.  She’s a big mo.  Her latest album is one of the best of 2009… need I go on?

Bat For Lashes – Bat For Lashes appeals to my most emotional, moody, stereotypically girly side.  So… since this is an all chick extravaganza, BFL clearly belongs.

Daphne Willis – Daphne is my newest local fave and also my main pick for taking over the world in 2010.

*Leah already put Edie Carey and Rose Cousins in the starting lineup.  I’d like to put them on stage together.  They’ve played together quite a bit and, while they’re both amazing solo artists, I like their chemistry onstage and their voices sound beautiful together.

Leah’s Bench Warming List:

Fergie – Went from Isn’t That The Girl From The Black-Eyed Peas? to Doesn’t She Have A Few Songs And Isn’t She Married To Josh Duhamel? No voice, and a product of the Music Marketing Machine.

Jessica – Again, Music Marketing Machine. Can she play an instrument?

Miley – I should just shorten Music Marketing Machine to M3. So, M3 and her whole existence is designed to 1) build the Hannah Montana brand and 2) fulfill her father’s dreams of success despite a lackluster mullet-topped career.

Ashlee – See Jessica.

**Garvey agrees with Leah’s list of pine riders and would like to add Katy Perry for having the most annoying song ever written about something I love to do (kiss girls).  Garvey would also like to point out that Leah clearly just hates mullets.