Lunch With The New Kids On The Block… Sleeping Bag!

2 12 2008

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Hello, loves! We are back with another exciting D-list interview for your eyes only! This week, I had the chance to grab an exciting lunch with The New Kids On The Block sleeping bag! We discussed his recent comeback, stains, and working with an owner who’s grown. Enjoy!

earbudz: First of all, I just want to thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to sit down with me.

NKOTBSB: Oh no problem, it is my pleasure. It’s been great for me to be so busy once again, but I still enjoy taking a few minutes here or there for the little people.

earbudz: Thank you for calling me little!

NKOTBSB: I didn’t mean skinny.

earbudz: Oh. Okay then. So, NKOTB is back on the scene! How has this comeback been for you?

NKOTBSB: Well, to be honest, I don’t really understand what the problem was in the first place. My owner used to sleep in me every single night. We were tight and I thought that nothing would separate us. You see that red stain right there? (points to self with non-existent hands)

earbudz: Yes (gasp) is that blood?

NKOTBSB: No, ass nugget. That’s lipstick! My owner used to kiss me right there on Joey’s face every single night as she listened to, “Please Don’t Go Girl.” Then the music changed, eventually we hit the “Dirty Dawg” listening days and then… well… one day I was suddenly rolled up and stuck in a musty cellar next to some old lady’s corset.

earbudz: Oh that’s awful! I totally hate corsets!

NKOTBSB: Tell me about it. I don’t know how long I was packed away there, but a couple of months ago, the door opened and I was freed! It has been one whirlwind of a crazy time since then! My owner now fills a lot more of me when she sleeps in me, but she just said that it’s because she has some disease called, “old”. Additionally, she now has a boy sometimes join her. I don’t like him. When he sleeps over, I don’t get very much sleep and he has added a new stain to Joey’s face that I’m not very fond of.

earbudz: Mmm, yes I see that. Have you tried Oxy?

NKOTBSB: I’ve tried it all. Well listen, Sweets, it’s been great talking to you but I really have to get going. I’ve got an appointment with the dry cleaners in 15 minutes and it’s all the way uptown.

***NKOTBSB gets up and hastily walks out just as the waitress is arriving with two plates of food***

earbudz: Okay, well thank you! (calling after the sleeping bag) Hey! Can I eat this????

Posted by Garvey

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One response

4 12 2008
Koop

Ok I find this funny AND disturbing at the same time…..

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